Grilled Peach Yogurt Bowl with Spiced Toasted Date Granola

& I had a baby! plus my raw thoughts on postpartum

Hi! Welcome to “good mood food” from Kale Me Maybe’s Carina Wolff. If you’ve made it here and aren’t yet a subscriber, come join! You can expect recipes, musings, and faves in your inbox every Wednesday! Paid subscribers get even more on Fridays — right now I’m doing a 30-minute budget meal series! Learn more about the paid tier of my newsletter here. You can also try a week for free!

CATCH UP!

I didn’t expect to return to this newsletter so soon, but I’ve had so many thoughts I wanted to get out, and a few more free moments than I anticipated while baby naps, so here we are!

We had our double rainbow baby! Sagan Grant Wolff has arrived! He came 3 days early, which is what I had been hoping, as I wanted to avoid our scheduled induction after 40 weeks. So, good job, Sagan!!

People tell you all sorts of things about becoming parents, but of course, no matter what you hear, you’re never quite prepared for when you experience it yourself. I’m a couple of weeks out now, and a lot of what I was feeling in the beginning has already faded, but I wanted to talk about my experience giving birth and transitioning into motherhood because it was a lot different than what I expected. In fact, it was much more spiritual and almost psychedelic. In some ways, this is unsurprising given how I process life in general, but at the same time, a little out of character for me, as I don’t consider myself a spiritual or religious person at all.

I think a lot of what shaped my immediate experience postpartum was my longer labor. My water broke early Tuesday morning, and I gave birth to Sagan almost 48 hours later. The first 24 hours were mild, and I labored at home until my contractions picked up and we went to the hospital. Unfortunately, both of those nights I didn’t get any sleep, so I went into the hospital already exhausted. Then, I started feeling nauseous and began violently throwing up, which lasted for almost the entirety of my labor experience until I started pushing. This completely depleted me, so I felt super out of it during the entire thing. I’ve never felt so physically drained in my life. Needless to say, I got the epidural, and it was my saving grace, allowing me to nap at times and retain some energy.

My experience with the epidural was also positive. I asked for it pretty early at the hospital and felt guilty for not holding out longer, but it ended up being the best decision. I didn’t have pain or feel any contractions, which was amazing, and I could also still feel and move my legs, which allowed me some mobility. Once I finally fully dilated, which took forever, I ended up pushing in just 35 minutes, which was a relief given how long everything else took.

The days after birth feel like a blur. I’m sure most people go through this, but it felt like I had entered a portal and exited out the other side into a new life. I knew about the hormone crash, but experiencing it was, again, different than I had expected. I thought I would just be emotional and cry. I didn’t realize I would have such visceral reactions to certain triggers.

The biggest thing was that I had a really hard time adjusting to not being pregnant. I missed my belly and the kicks, the feeling of it just being me and my baby. I loved being pregnant so much — it was truly one of the best years of my life, and I felt energetic and comfortable until the very end. To go from that feeling to feeling sore, crampy, exhausted, bleeding, and in pain was sooo jarring. I would just think about happy moments when I was pregnant and cry, thinking I would never feel that type of joy again.

I also didn’t expect to feel such a jarring shift between the “before times” and the “now times.” It almost felt like my life was split in half — Part 1 before baby and Part 2 after baby, and they did not feel connected at all. I’m happy to say now that as I find my new normal and my hormones level out, this feeling has passed.

Actually, most of those triggering feelings have passed. I no longer miss being pregnant in that same mournful way, and I can look at little Sagan and smile thinking about him being the one who was kicking in my belly. My brain has fused those memories together instead of creating dissonance. Also, as the days go on and I feel more like myself, I realize that yes, the life I used to live isn’t going to be the same as now, but I am still the same me, and this is a continuation of that life. And I’m excited about this life!

I also, naively, did not realize how much of a time commitment breastfeeding is! I’m so glad to be doing it and that it seems to be going well so far, but has been a major adjustment giving my body away for hours a day, at the whim of a little creature. Especially when he cluster feeds, which he has been doing A LOT today! I’ve had to learn to surrender, to give myself fully as part of this symbiotic relationship.

I feel like I’m harping on all the negatives, but it has also been surprising how much I just snap into gear to take care of this little guy. I was lucky to feel connected to him right away, and there have been quite a few times I’ve looked at Grant in awe and said to him, “We beat infertility.” My heart flutters when he wraps his fingers around mine. I miss him when I put him to bed at night. I feel connected to Grant as we tag-team this wild ride together. I also feel connected to all the mothers who have come before me, in awe of their strength and ability to get through this challenging time.

The past few days I’ve really felt the fog lifting. My body is adjusting to the new sleep cycle, and I don’t feel overly tired. I am enjoying many more moments and feel a lot more like myself. Hormones are wild!

I thought I would want to stay away from work for a while, but it’s been nice to still have a place to express myself and connect to the me who hadn’t entered the portal yet ;). And overall, each day gets easier. Everyone says that, but it’s true.

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THINGS I’M LOVING!

Earlier this summer, Grant and I stopped into an olive oil shop in Marin, and they gave us a drink made with soda water and fruity vinegar. Ever since, Grant and I have been experimenting with different vinegars to make healthier versions of soda, and this Crushed Strawberry Vinegar from Kosterina is perfect for that! It also tastes amazing in salads — we made a simple avocado, feta, and kale salad using this vinegar when we had friends over recently (the night before I went into labor actually) They also have a tangerine and blueberry vinegar as well! Fun for mocktails or cocktails!

I cannot believe how much I’ve lucked out with dresses this summer that are natural fibers, bra-friendly, and suitable for both maternity and postpartum. This Quince Cotton Gauze Dress is sooo airy and breathable, which is necessary with this hot weather right now. I got it in Cherry Red to add some color to my collection, but it comes in a few other colors (love the stripe).

I think I may have already featured this Brumate water bottle already in this newsletter, but I had lost it, and then ended up buying a new one before packing my hospital bag because everyone said having a water bottle with a straw was a must postpartum, and now I see why! I have been sucking on this water bottle nonstop — I feel like I’m breastfeeding from it while breastfeeding my baby. It is my lifeline right now!

RECIPE!

Not to get all nostalgic, but this recipe definitely feels like peak pregnancy for me. I was eating fruit like crazy and making all sorts of date yogurt bowls. Peach season is going to end fairly soon, so I wanted to put out this recipe while they’re still around.

That being said, you can make this yogurt bowl with any fruit throughout the year! I’m looking forward to making it with apples in the fall. Pears would also be amazing — maybe even stewed.

My favorite part, though, is the toasted granola, which is made by frying oats, walnuts, pistachios, and dates in butter and pumpkin pie spice.

As per usual, I tend to cheat my grilled dishes by using a grill pan, but if you don’t have one, you can just use a regular skillet — I recommend a cast iron, but anything works! You just want to cook the fruit a bit, so follow the same instructions. You could also bake the peaches if you feel inclined. Or skip it if you want to eat the fruit cold!

Grilled Peach Yogurt Bowl with Spiced Toasted Date Granola

Ingredients (serves 2)

• 2 peaches, sliced

• 2 tbsp unsalted butter

• 1/3 cup old-fashioned oats

• 1/4 cup walnuts

• 1/4 pistachios

• 4 Medjool dates, pitted and roughly chopped

• 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice (or cinnamon)

• Around 1 1/2 cups Greek yogurt (didn’t really measure, just scooped into a bowl)

• Unsweetened shredded coconut, to top

• Olive Oil

• Flaky salt

1. Start by preparing your granola. Heat a medium/large skillet on medium-high heat, and add your butter. Once it has started to melt, add the oats, walnuts, pistachios, dates, and pumpkin pie spice. Mix together, and cook for 4-5 minutes until granola is toasted and fragrant. Remove from heat immediately to prevent burning.

2. Prepare your peaches by heating your grill pan to medium-high, and spraying with cooking oil. Add the peaches, and cook for 2-3 minutes on each side until peaches are soft with a little bit of char.

3. Split the yogurt into two bowls, and top with peaches and granola. Finish off with a sprinkle of shredded coconut, a drizzle of olive oil, and a pinch of salt!

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT!

A couple of weeks ago, paid subscribers received a recipe for a Summer Roasted Veggie Pasta Salad, another 30-minute budget meal. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SUMMER PRODUCE BEFORE IT’S GONE@

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